Professional athlete and 3-time Ironman champion

Humpty Dumpty

I wrote an email to a good friend, and decided it wasn’t half bad, so I’ve morphed it into a blog update. Edited of course; I have to impose SOME sort of filter. I mean…I’m gonna need a "real" job some day, and employers will likely be able to get a hold of this blog, once a plunk it out into cyberspace, so I have to be at least a ’little’ proper.

So in the last 48 hours, things have gone from bad … worse, in the form of my MRI results, which came in on Friday.

But let’s back up……

I am feeling pretty shitty right now. More emotionally than physically. It’s like a grieving process, ya know? First I was in shock (maybe literally), then I was upset (OK, hysterical), then I was depressed (narcotics and alcohol may not have helped). I was a bit optimistic, thinking I could salvage the end of the season and be back in time for a couple races in October/November/December......but then we got the MRI results.

Instead of salvaging a race or two by year end, I get to have a fractured pelvis. The "icing" on the cake of crap. The final "kick you when you are down." The crappy little "parting gift" they give you when you stupidly chose door #2.

I mean....of course my pelvis is fractured. I hit the ground at 22.1 mph wearing little more than 1 sq ft of lycra. It was enough to break my elbow and my ribs, so why should my hip get off scot-free?

So then I was in shock, and then I was upset, and I think now, I am just depressed.

And for all my misery? My "reward" is that I get to deal with orthos. (if you are an ortho and you are offended by my comments, I apologize. I also welcome you to call me because the following statements are based on the orhtos I have dealt with thus far in this process (and, admittedly, on a few other occasions as well)).

"Lucky" me, none of my injuries are surgical, which, loosely translated, means no ortho wants to even talk to me. "Lay low for 6 weeks" was all the guy said when he called to give Dave the diagnosis on the hip (can’t decide if calling Dave makes the guy cowardly or smart.......). What the asshole doesn’t know is that laying low means 20 hours of training a week and not 30. So here is my unfair, and emotionally charged statement about orthos; if you are non-surgical, orthos flip you the bird, and tell you to rest and come back in 6 weeks.

I am, quite simply, tired of people telling me everything I can’t do. I long for a doctor, therapist, tell me what I CAN do. Can I water run? Can I walk? I mean...there’s no full body cast or anything, but am I supposed to just lie here? Should there be ways I should avoid sitting? I mean.....f&ck! Speaking of which....can I do that?

"Lay low". Dude went to 18,942 years of medical school to tell me that.

So that’s it.

The other thing I don’t understand; the Germans had told me I had no fracture and was good to go. They said *maybe* I had a fractured elbow. The ortho said no. The radiologist said yes. But overall, the Germans told me NO FRACTURE. Part of me thinks I should move back to Germany, because there, I am not broken. Here? I am Humpty Freaking Dumpty. But in Germany, I am fine.

Not gonna life is pretty crappy right now. It’d be awfully nice to catch a break (and I don’t mean that literally....since I seem to have plenty of them already.)

I know….I know. It could be worse. It could be way, WAY worse. The reality of our sport is that I could be dead. I could be mentally incapacitated (thank you Lazer for making a good helmet). I could be paralyzed. All of those things would be far worse and I know that. And I appreciate it tremendously that I am not any of those awful, horrible, unspeakable things. So I am not whining "oh, poor me" thinking that this is the worst tragedy that could ever befall a human being. I know….it’s not. But I spend enough time on Twitter and Facebook to realize that people bitch a lot more about way less. So I am going to pout just a little over this whole shitty situation for a bit. I think I am entitled.

Persistence. Determination. Love. The Journey!

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